The Wedding Witch and the Overzealous Aurors
by ElaineAbbene
Summary: Interrogation room 3, Department of Magical Law Enforcement, 3am on a Saturday night. Not really where I would like to be right now. But if they are going to keep me here... I might as well see how red Weasley can get. And when did Longbottom get so fit? My name is Pansy Parkinson and I assure you I am innocent. This is all just a misunderstanding.


From the time she was five years old and attended her Auntie Daisy and Uncle Donnel's wedding, Pansy Parkinson adored all things Wedding. The fancy dresses, the colourful flowers, the cake, the music. She was in love with the idea that weddings represented the start of forever, love transforming your life. Nevermind that Daisy Selwyn and Donnel Macmillan had an arranged marriage that had been contracted at birth. Five year old Pansy was caught up in the romance of a _Wedding_.

Five year old Draco Malfoy, Pansy's best friend, thanks to their parents, was much less enthused with the idea of weddings. For months, _Wedding_ was the only game she ever wanted to play when he visited. Their mothers laughed at the sour faced blonde boy when Pansy stuffed him into miniature dress robes and decorated the conservatory for the "Wedding of the Century". Sometimes she was the bride, sometimes, she recruited one of her house elves, just so she could giggle relentlessly at Draco's disgust.

Once in school, weddings remained Pansy's secret obsession. She filled dozens of copybooks full of sketches of dresses during history of magic, which her parents did not seem to appreciate when her OWL results for History came back as a Dreadful. This was of course offset with the splendid Outstanding on her Herbology OWL and NEWT, likely a result of her obsession with designing floral arrangements and all the extra time she put in with Professor Sprout's personal flower and herb garden.

Obviously the wedding she _most_ looked forward to was her own. She had always expected she would likely marry Draco, a good pureblooded match. They got along quite well, and he would look stupendous in silvery grey dress robes that offset his steel eyes. Unfortunately there was that rather large mess with the Dark Lord, and her offer to turn over Potter. There wasn't much discussion about a match after all that. Not that Pansy was particularly enthused about that fantasy any longer. Brown robes were _all-the-rage_ after the last Weasley Wedding. Maybe she should keep an eye out for an auburn haired scottsman. And she wanted love, not an arrangement. Just look how Aunt Camilla's marriage to Nott had worked out. Pansy didn't care much for funerals.

After the war there had been quite the spurt of weddings. Pansy had managed to secure invites to _most_ of the high profile events, despite her tarnished reputation. There were many broken arrangements replaced with love matches that shunned the old ways. Those had all been quite enjoyable. Then there had been the weddings of rejoicing war heroes, happy to throw off the shroud of war and move on with their lives. Live the life they fought for and what-not. The marriage of convenience for those like Draco who needed a match to restore their family's reputation. Astoria, the little do-gooder, had certainly fit that bill. And then the rush to the altar had slowed, and Pansy had realized half her schoolmates were married. She was still abysmally single with a wardrobe full of fancy dresses to wear to weddings without a single wedding on her social calendar.

That simply would not do. Which is probably how she had landed herself in a holding cell of the Auror department on a Saturday night in June. She sighed and pulled a pin from her elaborate updo, setting it beside the multitude already on the table in the interrogation room where she was currently the sole occupant. She massaged her scalp and let her shoulder length curls fall about her face while silently reflecting where everything had taken a wrong turn. In her memoir, she could blame it all on Granger, it actually all circled back to Granger, or was it Weasley now? Honestly, it was probably Granger-Weasley, but at the moment Pansy didn't really care. What she did care about was the auror wearing dark blue robes who had just reentered the interrogation room. This one was assuredly still Weasley, and she had the feeling he was pretty intent on playing the bad-auror role to Potter's good-Auror.

"Alright, Ms. Parkinson, so apparently your story is starting to check out. But that doesn't mean you're off the hook. We're going to need to run this through again while Auror Potter finishes his investigating. Me and Auror Longbottom are going to need to hear this again. From the top if you please."

Pansy sighed and rubbed her temples as Longbottom pushed through the door, carrying two cups of tea. She couldn't help but smile when he passed one to her. She had been up since six this morning, and glancing at the clock told her it was past midnight, well past time she should turn into a pumpkin. Or in this case, be in bed.

It had honestly started at Ernie and Hannah MacMillan's wedding, a fall affair marking the end of wedding season. It was two years after the war, and the burst of weddings was burning out, a sure sign that baby showers were just around the corner. Pansy had been invited to this very Hufflepuff affair on the merit that the uncle of the groom happened to also be her uncle by marriage. And there would be no snubbing of the Parkinsons for a pureblood wedding like this. So even if they weren't friends, Pansy _had_ been invited. Which was much easier than securing a date with someone who had been invited, which she often resorted to doing. _That_ was how much she loved weddings. Tolerating dangling off the arm of Trevor Abbot while he made eyes at the single men was always an option. His mother was such a traditionalist.

She had been standing near the band, eyeing the cake table, when she had heard Hermione Granger speaking loudly with the Weaslette.

"My mum wants us to go to her friend's daughter's wedding with them next week, but I honestly don't know if Ron is up for it. He's either going to put his foot in his mouth about something completely ridiculous or 'accidentally' perform some random act of impressive yet totally inappropriate magic, thus requiring me to completely obliviate the entire wedding. I keep telling mum he's just not ready to fully integrate into muggle culture, but she keeps pushing this bloody wedding. As if we don't have enough wizarding weddings to attend, now we're invited to some random muggle wedding. Ron's going to be 'whispering' in my ear (loudly mind you) about how uneventful and boring the whole thing is, and when will there be cake, and everyone will be staring us down in the church like we're monsters."

Pansy sat down her drink at the thought. Muggles had big weddings? What were they like? Obviously they weren't as magical as wizarding weddings, but…

"What are muggle weddings like?" asked Luna in a dreamy voice, mirroring Pansy's thoughts as the blonde dropped in on the conversation.

"Oh, like wizarding weddings, I suppose. A few less spells, a lot more inappropriate dancing, different alcohol, same effect. The cake is usually better believe it or not. It's the only way I've managed to keep Ron at any of these events anyway."

"Do all muggles marry for love?" asked Luna. "Or is the bride often expecting a premature baby?"

"Oh, I hadn't realized Hannah was pregnant. Isn't that the same thing anyway?"

"I mean… it might be marrying for lust," snickered Ginny Potter. "If the prophet ever asks me why I married Harry… I should definitely say lust…"

"That good in bed is he?" asked Luna with a quirked eyebrow while Granger's forehead fell into her palm.

"Okay, okay… I think we got that part last time… about Harry… let's move it along, Parkinson," snapped Weasley.

"But Longbottom wasn't here," she hid her smirk behind a full lipped pout. "He didn't get to hear about Potter's massive meat puppet and all the things he does to entertain your sister with it."

If possible, Weasley turned redder, and Longbottom looked like he was trying to hide a laugh in his teacup. "That's alright, I think we got the general gist of the conversation. Just continue with what is _relevant_ to your defense right now."

"I'd like to think Potter's trouser wand is always relevant," smirked Pansy with false astonishment. "I mean, according to Witch Weekly, it must be!"

"PARKINSON!" Pansy was previously unaware that a wizard could turn quite that color mauve.

Pansy meandered her way away from the war heroines and toward the cake. Taking a piece she did find it rather mediocre. She wondered what muggle wedding cake would taste like. In fact, muggle weddings in general. This was definitely something she needed to investigate. And what better way than attending a muggle wedding. However, like Weasley, she was fairly certain she wasn't _quite_ up to it. In fact, the one year of muggle studies she had taken was likely… not entirely based on facts. Perhaps a few muggle excursions. And _then_ a wedding. She wasn't exactly a stranger to crashing weddings. She _certainly_ hadn't been invited to the Potter wedding. But… she _had_ attended. So much for their top notch security et. cetera et. cetera.

"Wait, you managed to crash Harry's wedding? And nothing bad happened?"

"And you thought Potter's tallywacker wasn't relevant," she winked.

"Parkinson…"

"Okay…"

Her first excursion had been to a bakery near the Leaky. Very close in case she needed to get out in a hurry. Granger was right. Muggle cake was vastly superior to wizarding cake. And who would have thought they could come up with something as genius as donuts. She was soon a regular at the bakery, trying all sorts of pastries, becoming an expert in muggle money, until she decided to do away with it and figure out how to use the shiny gold slip money everyone else used. That had taken a bit of research, and she may or may not have obliviated a muggle banker who explained credit cards to her the first time, but she _had_ opened an account with him after and Walter was her personal banker and accountant now. She was _certain_ he hadn't had any ill effects from being obliviated. You know… if she had even done that at all.

But having a _credit card_ made it so much easier to spend money. And muggles made such delicious shoes. And gowns. She had really set the fashion at the Ministry Yule Ball that year in a mystery designer that all of the wizarding world was desperate to imitate. A few muggleborns _might_ have recognized an Alexander McQueen, if they had been able to afford it on their ministry salaries. Doubtful.

By the new year, Pansy was ready to attend a muggle weddings, and it was as beautiful as she expected. If possible, more so. But there was always room for improvement. She was critically evaluating the decorations at a wedding when she felt a presence at her side. It was one of the wait staff for the venue, a rather ritzy hotel in a posh area of London. She had been to weddings here before and seen the rather mousy blonde.

"It's rather gaudy isn't it," said the woman as she pretended to offer Pansy a tray of snails.

"Yes," agreed Pansy with a nod. "I would have gone for a champagne pink with gold accents rather than gold with the pink accents. It's overwhelming. Although I suppose the groom might have been opposed to pink. In that case, this room is rather suited to a pale blue. It would be rather French Louis the sixteenth with the gold. That would be rather elegant. And of course I would have done the flowers with gardenias and pink peonies. But I'm rather against lilies at a wedding. Too much a funeral flower if you ask me."

"Are you a wedding planner? I see you at quite a few events here lately."

"Oh… no… I am just a wedding enthusiast."

"You should plan. You clearly have class and taste. You could start a business and make good money. I mean… I'm sure you're probably a lawyer or an executive, or something. I shouldn't…" The waitress turned red. "I'm trying to start my own catering business. Mostly birthday parties and such, but someday, I'm going to do weddings like this."

"You're right! I _should_ plan weddings! Those that can't do, teach! That's me!" exclaimed Pansy who had long wondered at the aimlessness in her life. Wedding planning couldn't be much different from charity event planning and she had been raised at Violet Parkinson's knee. And if anyone could throw off a good charity ball, it was Violet Parkinson.

"If you ever need a caterer, I will literally do whatever it takes," said the not so mousey anymore waitress. "Here's my card. It has my mobile and my fax!"

Pansy took the proffered card and tucked it in her purse, nodding like she knew exactly what a mobile was. And if anyone asked, she of course had one too.

"I'll be in touch, Madeline," she said with a smile. Madeline was a woman with ambition. Pansy valued that.

Two days later, Pansy not only knew what a mobile was, but she had bought more than one. Because if she was going to be able to instantly communicate with the rest of the world from anywhere at the touch of a button, she needed people she actually cared about to have one too. One for mum, one for dad, one for her brother Paxton, one for her house elf Whisper, one for Draco, one for Astoria, one for Daphne (and Theo to share), one for Millicent… actually, _not_ one for Millie, one for Tracey, and one for Blaise. It turned out Tracey, being a half blood, already had one… so Millie got one after all. Because she was probably too stupid to use it all that often enough to be annoying anyway. And surprisingly it caught on. Quickly. Information had never traveled so fast amongst slytherins. At least until they figured out texting.

And Pansy was able to contact Madeline.

"I want to call it Your Magical Wedding to start a Magical Marriage; Conjured up by Pansy," she announced over tea. They had agreed to meet up at a posh little place Pansy had found right near the Leaky.

"Isn't that a bit of a mouthful?"Madeline was skeptical.

"What about just… Your Magical Wedding?" asked Pansy with a frown. She would have to redo her stationary, but she could make the font bigger.

"That would be easier to spout off in a commercial."

"Yes, yes," nodded Pansy, noting she needed to look up what a commercial was. "So I wondered how I should go about this. You started your catering business, I thought you might have some ideas. And of course I'll be using you for my catering as soon as I take off."

"Oh, that's rather generous, considering you've never tasted my food. But… I suppose you start with a loan. You won't necessarily need a place of business, but advertising for your business. That costs money. You could meet potential clients right here in a teashop or what. Then you can probably work from home, setting up appointments with venues and such to take your clients when they choose locations and such. It might be a good excuse to buy a new computer. One with a good internet connection. All the good businesses are online anymore. You should make a website!"

"A website, on-line... excellent, excellent," Pansy nodded as she scratched down the words on a notepad.

"What kind of weddings do you want to plan?"

"All kinds! I just love Weddings. Don't you?" asked Pansy with a wide grin. "This is going to be great. I can't wait to get one of those compoots."

"Computers?"

"Oh yes… those!"

And two days later, she had her first Apple, which was a silly name for a muggle machine. But it did TONS of stuff. She had to sign up for a class at a local library to use it. Walter had helped her sign up for it. Since she wasn't very good with technology, and she was such a good customer at the bank but wanted to use 'on-line banking'. The class introduces Pansy to Emily, a fifty year old grandmother of two who also loved weddings and had a daughter getting married in September. Pansy had her first customer and her first muggle friend.

Pansy met Emily and her daughter Jennifer at a posh hotel for brunch to go over the details of the wedding. They'd already picked a church, one that Pansy had attended a wedding at in the past. A pretty little chapel on the outskirts that should fit the hundred guests very nicely. They were looking at a nearby hotel for the reception, but it wasn't exactly to the bride's taste, and she wasn't sure how she could envision decorating it. She wanted the colors to be those of fall, reds, golds, brown.

Perfect, thinks Pansy. Think Weasley Gryffindor wedding with class. She pulls out her sketchbook and hastily outlines a brown suit, with a gold waistcoat, a red poppy on the lapel. Bridesmaids in Poppy red, they can carry goldenrod and Rudbeckia bouquets. She sketches it all out, mentally noting to herself that she will need to cast a stasis spell on the goldenrod so it doesn't get pollen all over the dresses. A bouquet of poppies and goldenrod for the bride, brilliant against the white dress. Did Jennifer prefer traditional with a ball gown or an a-line skirt, or more modern with a fitted dress? She agreed they needed to go dress shopping together next week. Pansy pulled up a photo of the hotel on the internet, discussing how she would decorate the hotel they were thinking of. Fairy lights, all across the ceiling, lower the lighting, drape fabric behind the head table, hide the dark wood paneling.

Emily and Jennifer nod and smile to her ideas. It goes swimmingly.

"This all sounds lovely dear, but how much is this going to cost?" asked Emily as Jennifer gushed over how perfect the sketch Pansy has made looks. Pansy watched Jennifer's face fall.

"Well, I can't say for the venue price, or your dress, but surely we can find something perfect in your price range. What sort of price were you thinking to hire a planner and decorator? I know you have a lot of things left on your list, like cake, caterer, DJ, and photographer."

"We hadn't planned to hire anyone until mum met you," confessed Jennifer. "We were going to do the decorations ourselves, but you make it all so easy. I hate to steal your vision."

"It's your vision," insisted Pansy. "It's _Your_ Magical Wedding. Not mine. Let's go shopping for dresses next week, and we will know more what your flower budget looks like from there. I can provide most of the decorations at very low cost, the flowers are the only really tricky bit, we want them fresh, and we want them real. I will have to figure out how much my supplier will cost me, but if I can do anything it's flowers. Or my name isn't Pansy. I think we could do all of this for around… oh… five hundred pounds." She threw out a number. She had no idea what she was doing, but she wanted to do it. Five hundred seemed low end considering the dress budget was 1,000 pounds.

"Really?" asked an astonished Emily. "Surely not. The flower place we went to last week figured at least sixty pounds a bouquet, and she has eight attendants."

"I'm cheaper than they are. We'll make it happen. I just need an hour inside the venue the night before or morning of to set up. I do it all myself. No one else around. And I'll even throw in clean up, but the party ends at midnight."

"I'll feel like Cinderella!" laughed Jennifer. "I'm so happy I met you Pansy! I'm so happy you met mum!"

"Me too," laughed Pansy. This wedding planning business was so rewarding.

The nice thing about magical decorations, was they were essentially free. Need 100 white tablecloths. There's a spell for that. Need eight hundred orchid napkins folded to look like a swan. Pansy didn't get an O in charms for nothing. Want flowers that won't wilt for eight hours, there's a great potion for that, and Snape happened to be her head of house. Your Magical Wedding was an overnight success. And fairly lucrative, since Pansy enjoyed the work and it was fairly low cost on her end. She soon had a greenhouse at Parkview Manor completely dedicated to muggle plants that she grew herself for her floral arrangements. She had always loved working in the dirt, and it gave her something rewarding to do with her time during the week. When she wasn't gardening or working on ways to improve her greenhouse, she often met with clients, enjoying often being invited to help look for dresses, or shop venues. Within the year, she was a familiar face at many a venue, and she was able to secure deals with the owners who were starting to appreciate her for her easy set up and tear down that she did completely herself.

Madeline was her most frequently used caterer, and that oh so lovely bakery around the corner from the Leaky, her preferred place to take the brides for the cake of their dreams. She got future weddings off previous weddings, friends recommending her to their friends, sisters, and cousins. Pansy Parkinson, lover of all things _Wedding_ was _the_ Wedding Planner. No wedding was too big or small. The price was always, just right. And Pansy was currently booked at least two years out. She secretly had two weddings many days, because a quick trip to the bathroom and she could practically be two places at once with the convenience of apparation. Pansy's only hard requirement to do a wedding was she had to meet the bride and hear her describe her fiancé and how they came to be engaged. If it sounded like love, Pansy made herself available.

Which is apparently how she came to find herself in this interrogation room. Because one of those brides, happened to be the not so long-lost cousin of one Hermione Jean Granger-Weasley.

"And how did you place yourself in the position of Wedding Planner for Michelle Donnelly?" demanded Weasley, slamming his fist on the table.

"I think she was maid of honor at a friends wedding that I also did. Patricia and Paul Collins' Wedding. They sent me a Holiday card! It said 'Having a very Married Christmas! Love the Collins.' Isn't that darling?"

"Cut the crap Parkinson," scolded Ron. "Did you know Michelle was Hermione's cousin?"

"I did not, but, the hair certainly could have given it away. In retrospect, you know. Hindsight and all that. I'm near certain your children will come out with it you know," she said. "Only it will probably be red. Yes, definitely red. But oh so curly!"

"I'd thank you not to mention my wife's hair," growled Weasley.

"Well…" huffed Pansy. "It happens to be one of her better features when she tames it. Her cousin uses this great shampoo, tried it myself, but… made me itch. Granger should try it."

"ANSWER THE QUESTION!"

"I told you, Patricia introduced us. I took the wedding nearly a year ago… didn't think much of it, considering it was a rather small to do. Elegant, small, really nice choices, flexible budget. We didn't have any problems really. Except of course the fact that Granger was on the guest list. I certainly wouldn't have taken the wedding if I knew it was going to cause this kind of trouble. Although Michelle and William are really rather lovely. I feel pretty awful about being dragged from their wedding. I didn't get a chance to do my tear down and clean up. They might get charged for it not being done. I'll take the charge tho! My bad and all. Not good for business letting them get the fee."

"So you're really just that wedding mad, you decided to completely about face your views on muggles and integrate so completely into their world you've made yourself a business?" asked Longbottom.

"I love weddings. Why wouldn't I want to start a business where I could plan and attend as many as I could? It's fun. And muggles accept me. I certainly wouldn't have such a booming business in the wizarding world. Do you know I made over 800,000 pounds last year? That's probably more than your father made the entire time we were at Hogwarts. Granted, I did do the Windsor Wedding in July. That was… memorable."

"Seriously?" asked a dumbfounded Ron. "How have you flown under the radar this entire time? I think Harry had someone do security at that wedding."

"It was you and me!" exclaimed Longbottom. "The food was great."

"Which is why the security was so good, I'm sure," moaned Ron. "Harry's gonna flip."

"People can never believe I'm available at such a great price after the Windsor wedding. But I like the small ones too. I think… if… yes… small. Definitely small compared to the Windsor wedding." Pansy shook off the longing to plan her own wedding someday. "I am their best opportunity to experience a truly magical day. And I've never once violated the statue of secrecy. I've kept all my books aboveboard. Walter does my accounting. He's a gem that one. I even did his and Emily's wedding after I introduced them. We have tea on Tuesdays, and it was a simple matter of having Walter swing by the office to take a look at the books. He's such a distinguished looking man, and Emily had been so lonely since Stan passed."

"Merlin, Parkinson. You're bloody terrifying," moaned Weasley, just as a knock at the door announced the return of Potter.

"Parkinson, looks like everything checked out. I must say, you have quite the impressive website."

"Thanks! I designed it myself!" she said with a smile.

"Err… yeah. Well… Auror Longbottom can help you collect your effects from security. Sorry about all this. We realize we may have been…. Overly cautious…"

"Oh, no worries… I'm sure you'll find a way to make sure this doesn't reach the prophet… that would probably pull my business right into the wizarding world… I'm not sure I could take on even more clients at this point…"

Pansy stood as the magical bonds shackling her to the chair dissolved. Smoothing her skirt, she followed the absurdly tall Longbottom from the room, the door closing on Weasley complaining about the past three hours to Potter.

"You won't be able to keep this out of the Prophet," commented Longbottom as they walked through the quiet bay of desks that made up the Auror department.

"I couldn't have marketed this whole thing better if I tried. Potter just gave me more business in a year than I could have gained in ten. Just think what I can do with a truly magical wedding? No statue of secrecy. This entire evening has been quite fortuitous."

"Only a Slytherin would think that," laughed Longbottom.

"Well I haven't had a chance to plan your wedding? Who is the lucky girl going to be? Can I pencil you in?" she asked raising an eyebrow at the tall, dark, and handsome Auror.

"No girl. No wedding."

"Ahh… if that's the way of things. I'm certain _those_ kind of weddings will be commonplace soon enough. Legally speaking things are headed in that direction."

"No!" laughed Longbottom. "I'm just not seeing anyone right now."

"Well you should be," hummed Pansy with a cocked eyebrow.

"It's a little hard to find a nice girl when you're busy hunting down killers by day, doing a night mastery in herbology, and getting called in after midnight to deal with rogue pureblooded witches who have apparently figured out how to use the interweb and motile phones, something Weasley hasn't even mastered with the help of his wife."

"I'm sorry, is poor Nevvie Poo cranky that mean old Pansy's interrogation kept him awake past his beddie time?" she cooed, the snark from her school days coming back into her voice for the first time all evening. "Did no one think that Pansy might be tired too? Maybe Pansy had two weddings today, and hasn't had anything to eat except three mini quiches she slipped off a stranger's appetizer plate before she was hauled out of the wedding she had personally planned for months. Maybe Pansy was hoping one of the groomsmen from wedding A. would take her home tonight. Or maybe Pansy was hoping for a good night rest in bed by one am…. Or maybe Pansy really wanted to get dragged to the ministry until three in the bloody morning!"

"I feel like I should feed you? Is this why you were always such a bitch at Hogwarts? Not enough food?"

"No, it was Millie's snoring, I didn't get sleep until sixth year when I perfected a silencing charm."

"That's…"

"Pathetic. I should have come up with it third year, but what can I say… I'm not Granger level brains here."

"Pretty brilliant of you to set up such a successful business."

"Thanks, Longbottom. Let me know when you need your wedding planned. If you can point me in the direction of a decent late night café, I'll even do it on the house."

"I'll do you one better. I'm a bit peckish myself. I know a great place, just around the corner from the ministry. I'll treat since I doubt you have much in the way of galleons in that dress, and I already checked your effects." He pulled a drawer completely from the closest desk, setting it on the top. "One, wand, Mahogany Wood, Unicorn Hair, 8 inches. One silver clutch, contents: one muggle visa card, one pack of muggle condoms, one pack of muggle tissues, three used muggle tissues, one tube of Weasley brand eyelash extender, one tube of Weasley brand lip colour in shade A Gryffindor's Kiss. One pair of high heels, black, and a silver and gemstone hairclip in the shape of a pansy."

"Very thorough," she gritted out, her face red. Taking her clutch, she scanned the contents. "But someone ate my breathmints, and I'm guessing it was Weasley."

"Ermm… actually… that was me. I had thai food for lunch, and the interrogation room is rather… small."

"So the true criminal of the evening has been unmasked," she demurred. "I suppose you'll have to pay the fine. One very overdue dinner."

"Of course," agreed Neville, blushing as she bent over and slipped back into her shoes. She'd forgotten Weasley had insisted on confiscating them due to the pointy nature of the spikey heels. Potential weapon he'd said.

"Lead the way, Longbottom," she said, tossing an arm out in a grand gesture of impatience. "I'm starved."

They slipped out of the ministry and into the overnight café that served some of the best breakfast food Pansy had ever tasted. She'd ordered a very cheesey omlette, pancakes, hashbrowns, bacon, _and_ toast. She raised an eyebrow daring Longbottom to judge her. He had his own food to worry about though. She snuck a sausage off his plate, wishing she had ordered some. Just to try. He was paying after all.

"I was so hungry," she finally groaned, leaning back in the booth. "I don't think I've been that hungry since… ever."

"You certainly ate more than I expected," commented Longbottom with an impressed look before blushing at his faux pas.

"Not backing out on the bill are you?" she narrowed her eyes before biting her lips to hide her grin.

"I'm good for it," he laughed. "You're funnier than I thought you would be. Giving Ron a hard time about Ginny…"

"I think Potter's the one who has a _hard time_ with Ginny," she drawled, causing him to laugh again. He had a nice laugh. Genuine, and easy with a rich tonal quality to it that felt like melted chocolate ringing over her ears. They smiled at each other for a moment.

"We should do this again," he said suddenly, startling himself with the statement. His ears turned scarlet.

"No to the whole Interrogation room three, thing. Hard pass, but… either Weasley or I simply won't survive."

"No I mean… like getting food together, chatting about plants," he corrected, referring to the conversation they had enjoyed over dinner discussing herbology. He was quite interested in her potions incorporations to fertilizers she had developed herself. "Laughing," he added.

"Like a date," she asked, causing his blush to deepen.

"I mean… I suppose some might call it… a date. Or just two friends meeting over food."

"If I'm going to meet you over food, it needs to be a date, Longbottom. We've never been friends."

"It's Neville, you know. If we're going to be friends," he said, standing up and walking with her to the door after tossing the proper amount of money on the table.

"But we aren't going to be friends," she sighed, looking over at him. A small crease appeared between his eyebrows. "Surely chemistry like this means we're bound to be lovers." She let one side of her mouth quirk up in a smirk before pressing her smirk to his befuddled frown. The intended short kiss was extended by his quick arms wrapping around her and dipping her back to turn the initial peck into a full blown passion.

"I think you're right, Parkinson," he said pulling back and leaving a starry eye Pansy looking up at him with her violet eyes wide.

"After a kiss like that, it's Pansy."

"But we both know your real name is Pandora. I read it on your ministry file." Honest to Merlin, Neville Longbottom smirked. It was dead sexy, and Pansy thought he just sucked a little piece of her soul right out of her.

"Tell me Weasley didn't see," she gasped, grabbing the lapels of his robes in her hands.

"Weasley didn't see," he assured her, patting her back allowing her to relax. "But I'm pretty sure Potter did." She groaned as he laughed before grunting when she smacked his chest.

"You will promptly forget that," she demanded.

"Convince me while I walk you home."

Six Months Later:

Neville popped into Pansy's _Your Magical Wedding_ offices on a Friday afternoon with a loud crack. She was bent over her desk going over some contracts, but took the time to shoot him a glare. "Just because I've given you permission to apparate in and out of here doesn't mean you _should_."

"I know, I know… it's Friday night and you have two weddings tomorrow, but… I figured you hadn't eaten." He held up a bag from their favorite thai food take out place.

"I take back everything bad I've ever said about you," she moaned, holding out her manicured hands for the food. "Well… except the parts that were true… which was honestly most of it."

"Ha. Ha." He deadpanned handing her the bag and settling into the chair across the desk from her and sweeping away her paperwork.

"You know, this is probably why I love you right here," she commented, opening the first take out box and using a pair of chopsticks to pop a dumpling in her mouth. She moaned around the food.

"Probably," he nodded and forked some noodles into his mouth.

"That or your trouser wand," she replied blandly, stealing a look at his red choking face as he sputtered into his food.

"Please never say that in front of Gran."

"She was married to a Longbottom. I'm sure she knows her way around the business end of a good…"

"DO NOT FINISH THAT SENTENCE!" ordered Neville, half laughing as he waved his wand at her in a silencing charm. She made a lewd gesture with her chopsticks and licked her lips exaggeratedly. She continued making obscene gestures with her chopsticks, but he refused to lift the charm and simply ignored her, digging back into his pad thai until she grew bored with his non-reaction. She pouted and put another dumpling in her mouth.

"Besides, like you said, gran was _married_ to a Longbottom. There's a difference between us knocking heels and my grandmother's very proper marriage." Pansy rolled her eyes and licked her chopsticks. "If you want to talk to my gran about our… sleeping arrangements… you should probably start on that pro bono wedding you said you wanted to do."

"What pro-bono wedding?" asked Pansy, not realizing he had unsilenced her at some point.

"The Longbottom wedding," answered Neville with that fall in love with me smirk creeping onto his face. "Mine…"

"Nev…"

"Pandora Juniper Parkinson and Neville Augustus Longbottom," he answered dropping to one knee. "It's destined to be the wedding of the century. I heard the bride has an eye for that sort of thing."

"Nev," she gasped, her chopsticks still in hand, clutched to her chest, tears welling in her eyes.

"Marry me Pans," he said revealing the ring he'd tucked in his pocket. "It might be the wedding of the century, but we'll have the love of a lifetime when it's over."

"Yes! Of course!" laughed Pansy, falling into Nev's arms since he'd made it around the desk somehow.

Pansy spent the rest of dinner in Nev's lap, ooohing over her new ring, smiling at the thought of their wedding, kissing his somewhat spicy lips, and smirking for no apparent reason at all.

"Alright, so I'll let you do your Friday night wedding review, get out of your hair and all that," Nev finally agreed, standing up and heading to the door. "But you're mine after midnight tomorrow. Got that?"

"Of course, love. And brunch with your gran on Sunday. We can let her know about the engagement right?"

"She already knows of course, love," laughed Nev with a shake of his head.

"Ahh… so she and I can jump right into a conversation about Longbottom trouser wands then?" the devilish smirk was back.

Nev fell back against the door with laughter before shaking his head. "No, for the love of Merlin!"

"Just kidding, we only talk like that when you're not around," sniffed Pansy going back to her wedding plans for the next day.

"WHAT!?"

"Can't you see I'm working?"

Lavender Brown-Finnegan, the Prophet correspondent who covered the society pages was thoroughly impressed with the Longbottom wedding. It was truly the wedding of the century, outshining even Potter's small affair. Anyone who was anybody was there, but the venue made it seem small, exclusive. The decorations were all, _just_ right. The flowers, out of this world. The music, a beautiful mix of classical and surprisingly muggle. The food, better than what they served at Hogwarts. The cake… the best she'd ever tasted. But… the most perfect sight was the smiles on the faces of the bride and the groom, who as Harry Potter himself said, "Were so disgustingly in love, you'd think they slipped each other amortentia." Ginny Potter's quote that they probably married for love _and_ lust was censored from the article. As was whatever a drunk Pandora Longbottom said about her husband showing her his sword of Gryffindor later. Lavender wasn't sure if the woman was serious, joking, or simply very drunk. Either way… not appropriate for their readers. And although Pansy Longbottom had attended many a wedding… this was her very favorite. Not because it was perfect (and it was) but because _she_ was the one who was in love… and he happened to love her back. And that is what it was all about anyways.

Thanks for reading. Please review and let me know what you think. Couldnt get this one shot out of my head! I havr more pansy nev ideas so if you want more let me know! E.A.


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